Focus on Seeking, NOT Searching

Girls… It’s time we make a change for the better. It’s time we stop searching and instead we start seeking. We need to stop searching for a boy to make us temporarily happy and start seeking the man who will make us eternally happy.

It’s time we stop searching for boys and start seeking the Lord.

My intention while writing this was not to make it another blog post bashing this college-aged generation of guys, because they’re not all bad. I’ve met my fair share of Jesus-loving college-aged guys, but I’ve also met my fair share of party animals. The guys aren’t always the ones to blame though, us girls know how to party and pray also… This is why we need to stop.

Our generation is confused. As girls we believe that we deserve the God-fearing man who goes to church on Sundays and prays before his football games, but that’s not who we go after. We go after the life of the party, the guy who is usually a co-host and offers to get us a drink… This is the chivalry we look for. We’d rather have a guy pour us a drink at some lame party where everyone is just looking for someone to go home with… We know we deserve better. Us girls deserve better, and the guys deserve to not be thrown curveballs.


This is what we should be seeking, and we need to stop searching for anything different. I’ll admit that I’m guilty of living both life-styles. I’m a college-aged, twenty-something who wants to have a good time, but doesn’t know where the boundary line is. I think the guy pouring the drinks is cute, but I also know he won’t be the one I marry. I’ve spent plenty of nights in my dorm room praying for my future husband, praying that he is a God-fearing man, and praying that he is praying for me too… But when I wake up in the morning I’m entertaining the boys who are the life of the party. So, this is where the line should be drawn.

We’re young and dumb… We’re going to make mistakes and we’re going to learn from them. We’re going to go to parties and occasionally get too drunk and need an Uber home. We’re going to enjoy college, but we’re going to learn our limits. Just because we go to the party every weekend doesn’t mean we have to drink. We can be the designated driver three out of the four weekends we go out. We can smile and have a conversation with the boy pouring the drinks, but we don’t have to accept one. We can sit on the sidelines and fantasize about which boy we think is praying before the games, but he may not actually be out there. We’re going to learn to trust God because we know that he already has our perfect person in mind, it just isn’t our time to meet him yet.

The boundary line needs to be drawn within us. We know what is right and what it wrong, and we need to stand by it! We need to know that just because we went to the party on Saturday night, doesn’t mean we can’t go to church on Sunday mornings. God understands that we’re going to make mistakes, but as long as we know that Jesus died for our sins and there is more to life that dating the life of the party, we’re going to be okay.

We need to realize that guys aren’t our problem, we are our own problem. We know we deserve one thing, but we search for the total opposite. When we realize that we can stop competing with each other, the world will be a better place. God created a person for everyone, and when we realize that the boy pouring the drinks is better off with someone else… We’ll all be happier. The nights we spend crying after drinking too much will end, and we will stop asking ourselves why she got the boy and we didn’t!

We need to start competing with each other rather than against one another.

We need to start loving ourselves, and stop trying to be the girl we wish we were.

We need to start trusting Him, and stop trying to rush His process.

We need to stop searching for some random boy, and start seeking our God.


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